They just don't stop! Relentless dreams of searching for our three in Haiti!
The one I had last night was a little different. There were other parents with me, we had traveled to Haiti together loaded into this van and were heading out into the country to the orphanage. Everyone had their children with them (Lisa - your husband was carrying Morelson around) except for me. I had also realized last minute that I had arrived in Haiti with no money, no travelers cheques, nothing but a bank card and I was frantically searching for a bank machine. I am not sure if they have bank machines in Haiti, they sure were not any available to me in my dream. I was so worried I would not be able to make it out to see the children if I did not find some money quick.
By my side was a Haitian man. He was helping me navigate my way around and was attempting to be extremely helpful. The only problem was that he appeared to have smoked way to much weed and was acting really sketchy and we kept making weird eye contact. Not bad eye contact, just like we were missing each others signals and our faces were constantly asking "What did you mean?" or "Whats going on?". It was adding to my stress levels.
So there it is.
No update for you other than to say that the only news on Haiti and our adoption is distorted and panicked messages that come through my dreams ... which should give you a real crystal clear picture as to my mental health at the moment.
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How long has it been?
In love...
Visits since April 30, 2008
7 comments:
Dear Mandy,
I wish this process didn't make us all slightly crazy and paranoid but it sure does! It's ALL the unknowns, there are just so many and then there is that never ending, nagging, horrible thought that you just can't completely keep from creeping up on you---are they really coming home? Every time that unthinkable thought shows up I always remind myself to get a life and quite worrying about something so ridiculous.
I keep dreaming about Morelson asking me "why didn't you come for me sooner, what were you doing, what was more important?" Of course there is no way to explain to him what the hold up was, and how I would have done almost anything to have made it happen way sooner rather than later!
But....then I remind myself that it is we that are obsessing over the time involved and the kids are playing and happily waiting for their mama's and papa's to come get them and take them on that plane to their new forever home!
Oh, one day soon, one day soon it will all come together and that's the picture that MUST stay forefront in my head!!
OMG it has to be all that talk on the group about visiting and stuff! That happens to me to...talk about something you want to do deep down, and then you dream about it!
Just hold on to the idea of visiting! :)
Peace...
steph
Hey,
Nice to know you are still there, I check your blog site every now and then hoping for positive news of you and your family :o). It will happen have faith (notice I said faith not patience!)
As for the ATM machines your dreams are right. NO ATM machines. When we went to Haiti last dec to visit our kids with minimal cash in our pockets and our trusty plastic card full of money when ever we needed.HA!!!. NOPE NO ATM!! when we ran out of cash our darling and wonderful O director ended up lending US money, Very embarrassing I must say, but she knew we were good for it thank goodness!!
So listern to your dream and take enough cash with you. :0)
All the best Irene
P.S Tania and Tanio came home in August. We have had 4 (+1 month in haiti/US) with them. I am sooo in love with them and they are doing great
Are you ok Mandy? I'm so sorry things are so difficult. hugs!
Happy Thanksgiving Mandy!Haven't seen a new post from you, just wanted to check on ya. Hope all is well!
I have recurring dreams about Haiti, too. Yes, it's a scary little picture of our mental health, isn't it?? So sorry.
Hi Mandy,
I was just looking for an older post of mine, and saw a comment from you to one. It made me realize it had been long since I'd been to your blog--or checked in on your adoption progress.
Let's just say, I was heartbroken to see a post from November indicating you are still waiting. If that is still the case, I send love and hugs through the cyberworld. There are no adequate words to assuage that pain...only I remember it too well.
Happy new year!
K
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